James 2:10 states that “…whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.”  He is making the point that partial obedience is still disobedience.  Jesus’ encounter with the rich young man expands on this (Matt 19, Mark 10, Luke 18).  After justifying himself by declaring that he had kept the entire law since childhood, the young man asked Jesus, “What good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?” Jesus suggested that he sell all his wealth, give it to the poor and follow Him. As for the Pharisees of Jesus day, keeping the law became justification for their self-righteousness.  Jesus was not a fan… If LOVE is the standard, we are all going to fall short, some of us more than others.

When I went to live with my parents with my husband and children, I thought I was a good person and couldn’t understand why I deserved to be destitute.  With hindsight, I would add to James, that if you justify and persist in breaking one law, overtime you will break others, and if you continue unchecked, you will eventually break them all.  Please forgive the boldness of the following testimony, but I pray it will comfort and encourage someone.

As a freshman in high school, I was elected to the student council. The very pretty, smart, popular president of the council took me under her wing. Eventually, she introduced me to an upperclassman and encouraged me to date him.  I spent the next few months fending off advances. Then she set me up with a teacher. Eventually, the voice in my head came into agreement with the voices around me saying, “this is who you are, you can’t say no.”  Fifteen years of promiscuity are more than likely to lead you through the other broken commandments to abortion.  At the time, I didn’t think of it as murder, it was the convenient and wise solution to an unwanted pregnancy of a single, young, working woman.

After I was saved, the repentance process began. The Holy Spirit took away my potty mouth instantaneously, anger took much longer, (a story for another day). Abortion was at the top of the list. I confessed (in private), repented, and shed tears.  But once I saw that choice in the light of His presence, I wouldn’t believe I was truly forgiven.

During that time, I volunteered in a prison ministry with two dear, older friends from the church.  One Sunday morning we went to the county jail where three men came down for “church.” Any excuse to get out of the cell was worth it.  Jimmy was being held for harassing his mother with a knife, Paul for theft, and Elmer was awaiting trial for the murder of his grandparents.  After Titus shared a short message, and Arlene began to pray for the men, my tears began to flow. I confessed my murder to them all, right there.  Titus looked down and said, “I guess I am a thief too.”  Jimmy’s eyes began to roll back in his sockets and he blurted out that he had raped his cousin.  Arlene came over and took me in her arms and began to sing “Nothing but the blood of Jesus” over me.  Fifty years later, I still weep, no longer in shame, but in the blessed relief of atonement, and the boldness to testify to such a redemption and restoration.   Only Abba, Father could orchestrate such a moment.  I am not sure of the impact on the others, but I pray that each of them, and of you, dear readers, have repented of that one little secret sin, and know that the blood of Jesus truly washes us clean.