I was raised in protestant churches and my husband was raised Catholic.  When we got married, neither of us had a strong connection to our childhood churches.  Because of his job, we moved frequently and attended churches of many denominations. I experienced the rich liturgy and reverent communion of the Catholic mass.  Singing in the choir was my favorite part of being in Protestant churches.  As an evangelical I began to participate in Bible studies and deepen my understanding of the Word of God.  Although we never belonged to a Baptist Church, I attended baptisms of various friends and resonated with the joy and intentionality of choosing that sacrament, as a consenting adult rather than as an infant.

For the first fifteen years I was mostly a participant, but my heart longed to serve God in some capacity.  When we finally settled in Atlanta, we could be at one church long enough for me to volunteer and learn what my spiritual gifts are.  First and foremost a servant, I brought people meals, cleaned up after church suppers, helped in the nursery and with Vacation Bible Schools.  Later, I taught Sunday School and helped plan women’s retreats.   I always participated in ladies’ Bible studies, and eventually became a facilitator.  Gradually I became more confident in my gifting as an intercessor.   

At one point, I was invited to be director of Women’s Ministries at a small evangelical church. I did not feel up to the task, but my husband urged me to accept the position. The elders wanted the emphasis to be on mentorship and discipleship.  I spent six months reading about discipleship and visiting each of the women in the church to know them better and to learn about their needs.  I had taken a course called Experiencing God that had deeply affected my faith.  I came back to the Elders with a plan that involved keeping the program much the same for one year and inviting a group of women to take that course together to prepare ourselves as mentors.  For reasons I didn’t fully understand, they didn’t like any part of my plan.  Discouraged, but not a quitter, I went back to the drawing board.  I began to get calls from women about back talk and after a few days, my husband came to me and said, “You are supposed to step down.” I was reluctant, but after some prayer, realized that he was right.  God told me that the church wasn’t ready for what I proposed and that I was not yet prepared to do what He was calling me to.  

Soon after, the Lord pushed me out of that church in a whole new direction.  My involvement with different churches over the years had taught me many things of great value.  But over time, my intimate relationship with Elohim (God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit) had grown distant. I took several classes on prayer, developing my gift for intercession.   I took a three-year course on the works of the Holy Spirit.  This was not just passive learning, but classes where we experienced and practiced prayer, worship, praise, healing, and deliverance. Finally, I joined a ministry based in Oklahoma where I was mentored to know and love God, and to serve as a minister of prayer for personal restoration and for the restoration of creation.

The disciples of Jesus were, fishermen, tax collectors, farmers, and zealots.  Many were unschooled, some even demon possessed, far from the holiness expected of the priests and scribes.  They believed He might be the Messiah they were looking for, and gave up home and job to follow Him.  They trusted Him and were open to the “new wine” (teachings) Jesus offered.  He taught them, disciplined them, trained them, and loved them.  The intimacy they experienced with Him was what helped them understand that He was not a political savior or religious leader, but the Son of God.  The intimacy taught them to hear the Father’s voice, as Jesus did, and enabled them to do the greater things that He promised they would do after He left (John 14:12).  He gifted them with the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:1-4) so they would have the power and authority to save, heal, and deliver thousands of souls, to build churches and disciple others, and to endure persecution even unto death. 

Christianity is a relationship with the Most High God, not a religion. Ask Elohim to shine the Light of His Presence daily, and sit and bask in His love. Be still until you know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).  Allow Him to correct you (Psalm 90:8).  Allow Him to shower you with love, shalom, strength, joy. He is waiting.