Even today, marriage is a legally binding contract, in Bible terms, a covenant. In ancient Jewish times, the marriage contract was a series of covenants, negotiated and agreed to by the fathers and by the bride and groom. They had implications, not just for the bride and groom, but for their families who were agreeing to serve one another, become friends, and eventually to become one family.  Regionally within Israel, there were differing customs.  I am drawing heavily on a document downloaded from the internet titled “The Marriage Covenant – Ketubah.”

Throughout the Old Testament, scriptures refer to God as a husband to His people Israel (Isa 54:5, Jer 3:14, 31: 32, Ezek 16: 8-14, Hosea 2:16, 19-20.) The Torah can be likened to God’s marriage covenant with His people Israel. The first five books of the Bible contain the elements of the five parts of the Ketubah.  Genesis is a combined family history of the bride and groom (Israel and God).  Exodus is the personal and family history of the bride. Leviticus provides the history of God’s family (the Levites, priests). Numbers describes God’s love affair with His people. And Deuteronomy outlines the responsibilities the bride and groom must each fulfill in order to consummate the marriage.  The Song of Songs can be read as a love story between God and His people.

In the New Testament, this love story is described as the Church becoming the Bride of Christ (Eph 5:25-27, Rev 19:7-9, 21:9-10, 2 Cor 11:2).  Jesus also tells a number of parables and makes numerous statements to his disciples that they would have clearly associated with the Ketubah and a wedding.  Because we lack the historical context of the ancient Jewish wedding, we can easily miss His meaning and more importantly, His deep love for us.

The betrothal process began with the groom and his father leaking the information, that a proposal of marriage was forthcoming.  How many movies have you seen where some guy proposes to a completely unsuspecting woman in a public place?  How often does that work out well?  After the word was out, the father and groom would visit the intended bride’s home, with a betrothal cup and bride price in hand.  The woman’s father, expecting the visit, would peer out of the window and get the okay from his daughter before he opened the door to them.  If she said yes, she fully understood that this was the beginning of a process that led to marriage.  Even opening the door signaled a step toward marriage which was what Jesus implied in Revelation 3:20, “I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”   The families would sit down and talk over a meal and the bride price would be offered.  If it was acceptable, they would all drink a cup of wine, called the cup of sanctification, to seal the first covenant.

This is called the servant covenant where the families agreed to begin to work together to bring the betrothal to completion, but also to support one another in business.  At this point, the groom was not able to break off the agreement without pursuing a legal divorce.  He was fully obligated.  The bride, on the other hand, could back out of the marriage at any point until they consummated the marriage (generally a year or more later).  The bride price was usually 50 shekels of silver for a virgin, which she had to prove when the marriage was consummated.  For this reason, this covenant was considered a blood covenant.  The bride price provided for her needs during the year of betrothal and switched her dependence from her father to her future husband.  It also was a financial protection for her in the unlikely event that the groom pursued a legal divorce.  

Within the context of Christ and the Church, entering into the servant covenant of betrothal is equivalent to being saved.  Jesus’ death on the cross makes it a blood covenant and His blood, shed for our sins, provides the Church the means to be fully redeemed.  This is why the Church stands firm in the position that when we receive Jesus in our hearts, believe on Jesus, and/or proceed through the sacraments, we are saved and that salvation cannot be taken from us because Christ will never divorce us. 

There are two more covenants negotiated before the ketubah is written, signed, and made public, the friendship covenant and the inheritance covenant. These outline the process for the families to become friends, to pledge the inheritance to be given by the parents to the bride and groom.  Both are sealed with a glass of wine.  At this point they are legally married and if the groom were to die before the last covenant and the consummation were completed, the bride would receive his inheritance.  The groom then pledges not to drink wine again until the wedding feast.  He also goes back to his father’s house to prepare a place for her to live.  Jesus pledged both of these things to his disciples at the Passover meal before His crucifixion.

The bride would remain with her parents during this waiting period and would be preparing her wedding clothes. She would also begin to manage her husbands’ business affairs.  She would wear a veil in public and keep herself pure for the wedding.  This period generally lasted about a year unless the bride and groom were betrothed at a young age. 

Only the father knew when it was time for the wedding feast and he would tell his son that it was time to go and get his bride.   Similarly, Jesus stated that only the Father knows the time when He will return for us.   One of the groomsmen would go and alert the bride while the wedding party assembled and proceeded through the town, usually in the night.  If the bride was not ready, the disappointed groom, went away to return another time.  But if, when they arrived at her house, a candle was burning in the window, her bridesmaids were awake with their lamps lit, and the bride was dressed and ready, then she would be lifted onto a litter and carried to the wedding feast at the father’s house.  The couple would enter the bridal chamber and consummate the marriage and verify her virginity. Then they would complete the final covenant by sharing the fourth cup of wine, the cup of praise, and the smash the cup together under the groom’s foot to signify that no one else shall ever drink from it.  Finally, they would join the guests for seven nights of feasting.   

Let’s reexamine the Word of God with the understanding that He is inviting us to deeper intimacy with Him and to prepare for His return.  If you would like more insight into the symbolism of the Galilean wedding, I recommend a movie called “Before the Wrath.”